SECRETS TO A STRESS FREE LIFE
Elephant's are trained at an early age to stay within an area by attaching it to a firmly anchored stake. The young elephant struggles against the stake yet can't escape because it is physically impossible to do so. After it has grown into a mature adult it is tied to a stake driven only one foot into the ground. This mature elephant never attempts to pull this stake out of the ground even though it could easily do so. Why not?
The elephant has been conditioned to believe it can't.
Perceptions shape expectations, create self-limiting beliefs, become self-fulfilling prophecies and are often conditioned from childhood.
Like the elephant we have been conditioned not to try.
Do these sound familiar? Children should be seen and not heard! Don't talk to strangers! Don't trust people people you don't know…
Stress results from many sources - many of which are conditioned expectations or imagined negative outcomes.
Stressful situations cause your body to secrete hormones that fire up your metabolism and release hormones into your system. Prolonged exposure to these hormones leads to nervousness, irritability, chronically increased blood pressure, damaged arteries and an increased risk of heart attack and stroke. You'll not only live longer, but studies show that you'll live better if you learn to control your response to stress.
You'll never eliminate stress- nor should you want to. Stress is necessary… it is the reason we create, relate and procreate. It is the reason we grow and develop.
The absence of stress leads to stagnation and boredom.
However, uncontrolled stress from major life events (marriage, death, divorce) or an accumulation of daily events (lack of sleep, long commutes, nonproductive confrontations) leads to health problems (headaches, backaches, over or under eating, reduced sex drive, lowered productivity, lack of motivation or any other number of conditions) and death.
1 million Americans have heart attacks annually.
8 million Americans have stomach ulcers annually.
12 million Americans suffer from alcohol abuse annually.
80% of all illness is related to stress.
14% of all occupational health claims are related to stress.
Mark Twin said, I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.”
What are some of some of the major catastrophes you have suffered that never happened? Overworked? Underpaid? Boss lays on another assignment? Proposal due on Monday morning? Canceled the kids game again? No respect. Excessive arguing with your spouse? Living on coffee and doughnuts? Out of work? Need money for a new mortgage? 13 year old needs braces? Ignoring your indigestion? You take a couple of aspirin to make the headache will go away - again. Flat tire? Get home after a hard day – no one notices? Step outside and twist your ankle – your spouse says its because of all the extra weight you're carrying around ?
I'm sure these things would never happens to you! Right? But maybe someone you know? Dream on.
YOU'RE A TIME BOMB WAITING TO EXPLODE and have only three ways to relieve the tension and hormone toxicity associated with stress.
- Response-ability... ability to choose your responses.
- Relationship-ability... ability to get through it
- Self-ability... get on with your life.
Response-ability: It's not what happens, its how you react to what happens that creates your stress. You have no control over what happens but you can control how you respond to it. If you control your emotions you'll control your responses and you'll have chosen response-ability - the ability to choose the appropriate response.
Here's what you do:
- Control your emotions (affirmations, accept how you feel, forgive yourself the past, breathe regularly, get involved in a different activity, be analytical, write out the prod & cons...)
- Reframe it (find the positives, ask what did you learn, look at it differently, get another perspective...)
- Take calculated risks (determine what's the worst that can happen if you act; decide if you can live the worst: if you can - act; if you can't - do what you have to do so you can...)
Relationship-ability: the ability to respect and get along with others, even when the getting is tough. It involves: Problem solving: What's the problem, what's the cause of the problem, what are the possible solutions, what's the best solution, what can go wrong, what will I do if it does go wrong; Valuing differences: Respecting others, valuing relationships, empathy and sharing feelings, spending quality time, focusing on the positive aspects of others, giving sincere praise, having an outcome and future focus, understanding and learning about others; Flexibility: Accommodating and compromising, being open-minded, working together, going along to get along, not being judgmental of others or their ideas but trying it on, stretching yourself, playing what-if, finding the value in having more than one way to do something. Communication skills: Connecting, listening for understanding, speaking to be understood, negotiating, follow up, (all the issues related to these five steps), writing and public speaking.
Here's what you do:
- Communicate for understanding not agreement
- Value diversity
- Negotiate solutions
Self-ability: the ability to respect and get along with yourself - even when you're full of doubt and fear. This involves: Self-esteem , task mastery, focused relaxation or meditation, social support, spiritual release, healthy eating and exercise, affirmations, visualizations and mental growth.
Here's what you do:
- Choose a healthier life style
- Commit to life long learning
- Find balance in your life
"All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
