"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

What's in a Word

Words are not often precise in meaning but are very precise in creating perceptions of what you mean.

Is a terrorist a fanatical bomber or a freedom fighter? Is a cheerleader male or female? What does the word run mean to you? Run for office? Run down the street? Do women get runs in their pantyhose? Have you ever had the runs? Could you run on and on about a topic? Are you running late? Well you get the idea.

Of the 500 most commonly used words there is an average of 28 different meanings. The meaning that a person chooses might not be the same as the one you intended them to choose. Words create perceptions and perceptions create meanings. This is why meanings are in people not in their words.

Have you ever, in a well-meaning way, said something to someone only to see him or her become angry or hurt? It was likely do your choice of words. We assign meanings to words based on our experiences, education, our present situation and so on.

Words can build or destroy your own self-esteem.

I have worked hard to grow and improve myself. Most people are content to remain the same and become uncomfortable when you don't behave the way they expect you to or the way you have in the past. I'm asked, "Why can't you be like everyone else?" or told, "Boy, you've changed!" To which I'll reply, "Thank you. You've noticed I've grown." Or "Thank you, I've worked hard at improving myself."

George Bernard Shaw once said, "The only sensible person I've ever met is my tailor. Every time I need a new suit he measures me. Everyone else tries to fit me into the old one."

My question is this: Where, in your professional or personal life, might you be better be served by using their words and not your own? Or put another way: How can you say what you want to say differently, using their words and not yours, to help you or the person see things differently?

Words are neither good nor bad. They're tools to convey understanding. As in carpentry, golf, cooking… having the perfect tool makes your work much easier.

So what do you do?

Choose the best words you can. Keep them simple and specific. Keep them focused on solutions not blame. Use their words as much as possible. Find shared meanings and above all be flexible in your choices and interpretations.

My point is : This is more than an exercise in semantics; it's a perspective-twister that has critical implications for how you approach a difficulty, person or situation. What a difference a word makes.

In life, where is a misapplied word, or perception creating a problem? How might you reframe your thinking into a more open creative state by your choice of words? What words could you choose to keep someone else open and receptive to your ideas?

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