"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

Things You Need to Know

Seven Things You Need To Know About People
When You're in Conflict

Variety's the very spice of life
that gives it its entire flavor.
William Cowper, British poet

You'll find an exception to the rule yet the exception doesn't disprove the rule. Remember the following when you're faced with a difficult encounter.

People need to hear something an average of six times before it registers. This forces you to be persistent and not give up. You need to repeat yourself six times over a period of time before the other person hears you.

People can, at best, consciously remember seven plus or minus two pieces of information. Don't overload people with too much information. The more difficult the situation the more you need to focus on single bits of information. Prioritize what is most important and say it in bite-sized chunks. And don't speak for more than 30 seconds at a time.

People become defensive when you point out their shortcomings or mistakes so avoid blaming and focus on solutions.

People take 21 days, practicing 60 times per day, to change a habit. Most people persist for three days in trying to change a behavior before going back to their old behavior so follow up and use continuous encouragement if you hope to see any lasting change.

When others have made their mind up you'll have trouble getting them to change it using old information. People won't change their mind unless you can provide new evidence or you can shed new light on your old arguments. Reconsider your approach and offer new information or old information presented in a new way if you hope to have the other person change their mind.

When people are forced to change their behavior they won't willingly do it until they absolutely have to and they have no other option. In fact many are comfortable being uncomfortable. They do everything they can to prove you wrong and them right. If they can't then they will see you before they see themselves as the problem. Behavior reflects consequences. Find reasons that matter to the other person and present them. Good behavior unrewarded will diminish. Bad behavior uncomforted will continue.

When you want to hear an apology you won't so don't expect one. Be content to find and work toward a better future.

Knowing these won't help you change anyone but if you want to confront someone's behavior be forewarned.

Click here to return to Tip Menu