"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

  
Silence is Golden

The IRS waits 15 seconds. Effective communicators wait 8 seconds.

What are they waiting for?

They are waiting for you to respond to their questions.

One of the most important skills of communication is to pause after asking a question and to pause before replying to someone else's question. Take five to eight seconds to pause quietly and wait.

Become comfortable with silences. The pause is a key part of good communications.

Pausing has several specific benefits.
· You avoid interrupting the other person if he or she is gathering his or her thoughts and this builds trust.
· Most people are uncomfortable with silence so will give you more information.
· Silence gives the other person time to think about what you've asked and have to think about your question even if he or she doesn't answer.
· Silence lets the other person know that you are carefully considering what he or she has just said.
· You will hear and more importantly you will understand the person better if you digest what was just said.

Here's what to do:
· Wait 3-8 seconds to reflect on what has been said or after you've asked a question.
· Carefully consider what the person has said and what he might mean by it.
· Read between the lines to discover unspoken needs, what the person might be avoiding taking about…
· If you've asked a question and the person doesn't respond ask it again or ask it differently.
· If the person still doesn't respond ask if their silence means agreement.

If you don't know what to say – ask a question and be silent.