"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

Praise versus Flattery

Want to build someone's confidence and self-esteem? Want that person to repeat excellence again and again? Then praise him.

Recently I changed the format of this tip of the week email and many of you responded favorably with specific comments and suggestions. I felt appreciated and validated by your feedback and praise.

Praise focuses on actions within a person's control, flattery on things outside ones control. Praise builds another person up from the inside: flattery pats a person down from the outside.

Praise is earned through ones choices and behaviors. Praise is a sincere recognition for excellence and one important difference is how the person is left feeling. Praise leaves the other person feeling warm, accepted and valued. Flattery leaves the person luke warm, confused and empty.

To praise someone effectively make it timely, specific and sincere.

What is recognized and rewarded is repeated. Recognize and reward actions and behaviors you would like to see repeated or maintained and save the flattery for less important things?