"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

Listen To Socrates

Socrates, the philosopher, lived in Athens around 400 BC and was considered to be great fun, wonderful company and he attracted a crowd wherever he went.

He left no writings. His discussions focused on issues of the day and he pioneered what has become know as the Socratic method – defined in Webster's New World Dictionary as a method of teaching or discussion, as used by Socrates, in which one asks a series of easily answered questions that inevitably lead the answerer to a logical conclusion….

As most people, I was first introduced to Socrates in high school. I wished I had paid greater attention.

You may still be asking yourself, "So what? Why should I pay attention now? How does this apply to me and in dealing with difficult people?"

We know that when someone is upset their responses are emotional not logical. This is why they jump from thought to thought and they use incomplete sentences.

Socrates used three principles that are extremely powerful in leading others to logical conclusions. When these principles are understood and applied to dealings with difficult people they will lead both of you to a much faster and better resolution especially when the other person is in an emotional state of mind.

These principles are:
1. Respect the other person. This person is different (gender, culture, experience…) and those differences are your doorway into their world. Enter in as a guest respecting their views and opinions.
2. Help the person think. Ask questions that lead them from their emotional state of mind into a logical one. The right hemisphere is creative, irrational and emotional, the left logical, linear and verbal. Questions need to be analyzed and answered from the logical left hemisphere. When you ask questions you help the other person think logically. Each question you ask is based on their response from the last one. The more logical your questions the more logical become their responses.
3. Help the person decide what is right. Keep the discussion clear and uncomplicated by extraneous issues. Lead the person through a series of decisions that take them to the logical conclusion that you care about what is right for them (empathy) and that in order for a win: win decision to be made both must be flexible.

We haven't discussed how to persuade someone to your way of thinking.
What we've discussed is how to lead someone from an emotional state of mind to a logical state so that the person can decide what is best for them. It might always be what you're hoping for but it will likely be what is right for him or her.

You need to maintain exception emotional control if you hope to use the Socratic method successfully.

It's not easy. If it was everyone could do it.