"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

Become a Doctor of Relationships

Become a Doctor of Relationships

I had to share this letter from a seminar participant. It's nice to know I'm making a difference - even when it comes in unexpected areas.

Thanks Tina...

Dear Bob,

I took one of your seminars a few years back on improving communication skills. It was a small group of less than 15 or so at a hotel in Worcester, Massachusetts.

While I'm not certain that my communication skills have improved....well I'm pretty sure they haven't....I was able to apply one of your tools to overcoming a huge horrible habit....smoking.

July 23rd will make three years since I stopped smoking. I know you're wondering how I got from improving communication skills to stopping smoking, as the two couldn't be more different. Well, let me explain how I made this huge leap.

After attending your seminar I started thinking about what you had said about repeating things 5 to 9 times per day, every day, for 28 days and how you would end up reprogramming your subconscious (or something to that effect). A light went on in my head. I figured that if it works for communication, I should be able to use that for any habit I have that I need to change.

For many years, prior to attending your seminar, my doctor had been trying desperately to get me to stop smoking. I have severe asthma and was well on my way to having to tote around an oxygen tank full-time (I'm only 36 now, too young for something like that). My doctor kept telling me that once I stopped smoking that it would only take about two weeks for the nicotine to leave my system and if I could get past that, I should be fine. Problem is, nicotine is only a small part of smoking, the huge part is psychological. This is where I thought your tool would help, but I needed something more.

Many years ago, when I had what I considered to be the worst job I could ever have, I received some valuable advise that I have always used since. I was working as a telemarketer at the time and I hated it. The person that made the most sales told me that I needed to, "Fake it until you make it." He was referring to the fact that every person I spoke to on the phone could tell that I hated the job and knew nothing about the product I was trying to sell. I decided that I needed to apply this with your tool.

On Saturday evening, July 22, 2000, I had my last cigarette. I threw away all the ashtrays in the house and ruined all the leftover cigarettes I had in the house by ripping them apart and dousing them with water.

On Sunday morning, July 23, 2000, I stood in front of the mirror and said, "I love being a non-smoker!" I repeated this all day long, out loud, making certain that I sounded as if I really did love it. In other words, "faking it until I made it".

Every time I wanted a cigarette, I would repeat my mantra, over and over again, either out loud or in my head, "faking it until I made it". I did this all the time, every day, for months.

One day, a couple of months later, it occurred to me that I really did mean it, and that I really did like being a non-smoker. I realized that day that I had succeed in reprogramming my subconscious.

I shared this with a few co-workers and they were also able to stop smoking. Needless to say, when I first tell someone how I quit, they look at me like I'm out of my ever-loving mind. But after trying it for months, they realize that it really does work.

Thank you for helping me to break the worst habit of my life! While I know that this was not the end result your seminar is looking for, for me it's the best thing I could have ever come away with.

Sincerely,

Tina Perrone Bland
Worcester, MA