"Poor communication skills can
condemn you to a life of mediocrity and
frustration. Good communication skills
can unlock your dreams of success."
Dr. Robert A. Tracz

Charismatic people command greater respect than non-charismatic people – regardless of their position and competence and we're drawn to charismatic people like bears to honey.

I remember a high school friend, John. He was popular, and now I understand why. He made you feel as if you were the only person around when he spoke with you. He was active in many clubs and activities and he would involve you in what he was doing - mentally and physically. You felt compelled to get involved. I wanted to be around John because things were always happening and I felt part of that when I was with him. John was charismatic.

Is charisma a gift or a learned skill? I think it's more learned than a gift and three things will dramatically improve your charismatic quotient:

• How you make others feel when they’re near you.
• How assertive you are
• And how positive you are.
  
  Charismatic people make others feel good about themselves.
  
  How do others feel about themselves when they’re near you? Do they feel inferior or equal? Do you accept them for who they are or do you wish they were different? Do you encourage open discussion and welcome their point of view or shut them down when they disagree with you?
  
  We like a person that make us feel good about ourselves and that’s exactly what a charismatic person does.
  
  Charismatic are assertive.
  
  Call it their power of purpose, their conviction or their self-assuredness but one thing is certain - assertiveness has a charismatic and magnetic attractiveness about it.
  
  Charismatic people understand who they are and what they want. They’re focused on what’s right for them. They speak for themselves and not the world. They’re decisive individuals and while they’re respectful of the rights of others they’re not afraid to speak up in any situation.
  
  Decisiveness is not mutually exclusive of flexibility. Assertive people are both. We're drawn to their decisiveness and confidence and we're respectful of their ability to be flexible and focus on solutions and not blame.
  
  You can increase your charismatic magnetism by setting clear goals for yourself and by making it a priority to live your life in congruence with what you want to achieve. This takes discipline and perseverance. When you have clarity of purpose and persistence the universe provides people and situations to help you make your goals a reality.
  Assertive people accept responsibility for their outcomes. To do otherwise is to place your fate in the hands of others. Accepting responsibility for the outcomes of your actions develops tremendous self-reliance and confidence and charismatic people believe in themselves and in what they are doing. This is demonstrated in their courage to act despite the insurmountable odds and the ridicule of others. Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's acting despite your fear.
  Aggressive people only care that you listen to what they have to say. Passive people only care to listen but not necessarily speak up and say what's important for them. Assertive people will speak up and listen up.
  
  Assertive people are not intimidated by aggressiveness and they’re conscious of the fact that they need to delicately encourage the opinions of passive people.
  
  Assertive people speak up when something needs to be said and they’re the voice of reason and collaboration when there's dissention. They do what aggressive or people can't or won't do – they get everyone participating in the discussion.
  
  Finally, charismatic people are positive.
  
  Positive people recognize that problems exist and look for solutions not blame. Negative people dwell on problems and not solutions.
  
  Positive people consider themselves capable problem solvers. They prefer to think of themselves as a catalyst for success. Negative people consider themselves victims of their circumstances and success isn’t possible. They hate being called negative, they like to think they're realists.
  
  Positive people communicate what they want. Negative people communicate what they don't want. Positive people act despite their fear. Negative people are held back because of their fear.
  
  What to do:
• Make others feel good about themselves - look for the good in them and praise their strengths.
• Be assertive - show respect for others by listening to, clarifying and acknowledging their point of view before you state yours.
• Positively communicate what you want - say what you do want and not what you don't want.